Christianity is so much more than church

On By wkilroy

I have grown so tired of defending the church, or explaining the difference between the earthly church that people experience and the church as the holy body of Christ made up of all believers here and in heaven.

How many people have to leave Christ because of the church before we get the message? This migration away from churches is so obvious it is being studied by both secular and religious research organizations Pew and Barna) … more than one book has been written about it … it is being reported in the news … there is even a new word being used in common vernacular (the nones).

All of this is being noted and analyzed, and yet the core problem still exists, and is continuing to grow. Many people, people I know and love dearly, have left Christianity because of the church. And the solution that church people have, far too often, seems to be repackaging the church in a new/different/prettier box. This only works for as long as it takes for discerning people, these same people who desire the substantive truth of the goodness of God, to get frustrated or hurt again by the politics, the people, or the precepts.

I couldn’t see it

When I was a relatively young Infantryman, I was part of a machinegun crew. My buddy Fabian and I made a great team. I was the gunner, and he was the assistant gunner, but those terms can be misleading. Neither one of us was more important than the other. We had to qualify on the range one hot day in Haiti, and it was a new range to us, so we weren’t familiar with where the targets may be. I was laying behind the gun, putting rounds downrange and on target one after another until I heard, “300 up!” I looked out to where 300 meters away was and started adjusting my aim, but I didn’t see anything. I said, “Fabian, I don’t see anything.” He told me to fire. I argued that I couldn’t see any targets. “Just fire!” Fabian said. So, I did. “Up one. Left three.” Fabian said to me quickly, and I hurried to make those adjustments and lest loose another burst. “Target down,” he said. Before I had time to remark that I didn’t see anything, the next target was up.

Sometimes, we who are the ones pulling the trigger, making the final decisions, don’t realize that we cannot see what others can. And, if we don’t trust the others who make up our team, we can miss the mark without ever knowing it was there.

I had a young adult in a church that I pastored ask for advice with a spiritual problem this person was facing. This wonderfully devout young adult was in the first year in college and was attending a college close to home/church. The struggle, which I could tell was causing a lot of stress, was in short that with the college load of classes, homework, papers, and activities, they weren’t going to be able to come to church as often anymore.

It wasn’t that they were going to miss out on fun times with friends at church. The very real fear was that missing a church activity (Bible study, prayer meeting, worship night), much more a Sunday service, would cause them to diminish in God’s eyes. They would be less Christian. This was, to them, the beginning of falling away from God.

I spent some time consoling them and reminding them of the blessed assurance found in salvation and the eternal love of God. We spoke on the foundations of the Christian faith, reminding them of the promises of God: the perfect love of God, the salvation given while we were yet sinners, the justice, grace, and mercy of the Father, the continual indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and more. But it was what I said after that, that shocked him.

Christianity is not about coming to church.

This poor young adult, who loved the Lord so much, was afraid that forsaking the gathering together of the saints (Hebrews 10:24-25) would cause him to be separated from God. What he didn’t realize, what was simply beyond his understanding, was that nothing in all of creation could separate him from the love of God (Romans 38-39). Deep down, the foundation of their fear was just this: will God love me if I don’t go to church, or will I still be a Christian if I don’t go to church.

And this is a case of someone who didn’t even want to leave the church, but they felt that going against what they believed was required by God was going to cause a rift between them and Christ. This example comes to mind because it is outside of the norm, but it shows the love for God and the desire to live a holy life. It is unfortunate that what usually happens is that, for whatever reason, those who love the Lord and the Gospel of Jesus Christ just disappear.

This is what happens … (Just like on that range in Haiti, the target pops up …)

  • when they find out that one of their beloved brothers or sisters has gossiped about them, lied about them, insulted them or shamed them.
  • when they are excited about the gospel and have their ideas squashed or ignored.
  • when they have struggles deep in their spirit with a teaching, and they come with these questions to their pastors, but are either rebuked for a lack of faith or are told not to question God’s Holy Word.
  • when they step into servant leader positions only to find that church politics can be more ruthless and vindictive than secular politics.

They walk away, quietly, thinking, if this is what it means to me religious (Christian), if this is what being a Christian really looks like, they want nothing to do with it.

(If we don’t listen to our AG, laying there in the dirt right next to us, we will end up never taking the shot, and loosing those targets without ever knowing they were there)

That’s just how it goes

This is what gives me a terrible sick feeling in the pit my stomach and a sadness in my heart – I sometimes think about how many other gunners waited too long while their AGs were shouting take the shot.

Too many people who leave church don’t simply walk away from God because of the sins of one church. Instead, they hold on to their faith and look for another church that will operate more like God’s church – filled with people who are at least trying to live lives full of love, grace, and forgiveness – a place where compassion, kindness, and encouragement can be found. Only to be drawn in by a pretty package, and later to find they must deal with the same dirt, derision, and disdain as they left. I’ve known those who have gone through this cycle three, four, or five times. Honestly, some probably tried even more, but didn’t count them all.

It is painful to recall, but I was that pastor, more than a few times, who went to find out why someone hadn’t been in church for many weeks. A few times they were honest, but mostly they provided some incidental reason that didn’t hold water. I listened and understood more than they knew. And, before I left, I would pray with them and encourage them to find another church … one where they would be blessed and a blessing. What I failed to understand was that I was just another step in the process of them leaving both church and their faith behind.

As someone who has been a churchgoer, lay leader, active participant, and pastor, I have witnessed the church be the reason that some leave their faith and the impediment that blocks others from coming to faith.

Over time, these recurrent issues have cemented in my mind not just the need for an inside-out overhaul of church, but more so a purposeful effort to de-emphasize the requirement of church attendance, and emphasize the commands of Jesus (Matthew 28:20).

A great place to start to learn Jesus’ commands is Matthew chapters 5 through 7, but here a few that came to my mind.

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